Managing Difficult Co-workers and Other Difficult People at Work

Sometimes managing difficult co-workers, and managing conflict with difficult people at work, is more difficult than relations with the boss.  Difficult people will always be with us, at work and otherwise, but how we handle them is what makes the difference. Difficult co-workers can be characterized in various ways:

The Snake – The most conniving of difficult people at work, the snake gossips and criticizes and causes public disagreements to emerge in the office atmosphere. This can pollute personal relations and the office environment, and bring the organization into disrepute.

The Shark – Similar to the snake, this difficult co-worker acts subversively. He withholds information, gives poor excuses for incomplete work, and harasses colleagues.

The Wild Cat –This elusive type of difficult co-worker  is often unseen at work, withholds information, and gives ridiculous excuses for incomplete work or poor performance. Defensive in their stance, these difficult people will refuse work, sabotage other’s work, and reject being managed. They attract undue management time, and cause stress and frustration.

The Hyena – This overtly difficult co-worker is rude, aggressive, domineering and negative about people. He blames others and never takes responsibility for his own actions. Others complain and become tense and disaffected. Sickness and absenteeism can follow the trail of destruction that this difficult person can leave.

The insidious thing about the difficult co-worker is that we also may fill the roles described to some extent. Where difficulties abound, your boss may identify you as the problem and cause you to lose your job. Clearly, this problem of dealing with difficult people needs to be addressed before it gets out of control. One generally tries to avoid these types, but often that is not possible. It can magnify your stress. 

Here are some tips:

Stand up to overly aggressive people – Stand up to them, but don’t fight. Overly aggressive difficult people expect others to run away or react with rage. Assertively express your views, and avoid the battle of right and wrong. Allow the person to run out of steam, then address him by name and give your views with confidence.

Beware of bad bosses – Bosses are in charge, and you will have to learn to get along with an arrogant boss. If you need to confront, avoid putting your boss on the defensive. This is skirting with danger to your career.  Don't allow your behavior towards difficult people cause you to lose your job.

Take action – Deciding to live with the difficult co-worker situation long term is not a good option. Things will not improve until you do something about it. Let the difficult person or people know that you are on to the game, and that you will bring this up to management if necessary.

Don’t let the problem aggravate – Take action on difficult co-workers swiftly. You may eventually become so angry that your response will become irrational. It is far better to tackle the problem with difficult people at work while you can maintain some objectivity and emotional control.

Never sink to their level – Do not send anonymous notes about the difficutl co-worker, gossip about the difficult people, or complain to the boss. Avoid this demeaning behavior.

Make the first move – If you believe that the other person could be interested in restoring harmony, you can make the first move. Start with ‘I’m sorry for what I may have done to hurt you,’ or ‘I could have been wrong.’

Preserve your reputation – Constant complaining could earn you the title ‘office grouch.’ Managers may wonder whether you can solve your own problems. If you are embroiled in constant conflict with people at work, you may be blamed for other unrelated problems, too.

Always agree to disagree – If you personally dislike a difficult co-worker or boss, you can still learn from their opinions and ideas. If there is something to appreciate, comment on it in a favorable way.

Remember, it’s always better to check your fight reactions and refuse to be part of a duel in which you are a participant. Sure, you need to stand up for yourself, but do so without demanding that you be above criticism. Your goal should be to save time, energy, hassle, and your own hide too.